There’s just so much I miss. So much. Nothing in the world could fill this hole in my heart anymore, it feels like — it feels like I’m always going to be cursed to this ache, constant heartsickness, constantly wanting, under it all, under the rage and the pomposity and fake smiles and joy — I just want it back. I want you back. I want hope back. I want freedom back.
If I admit I was a stupid little child who took those beyond precious things for granted, can I have them back? Please? I’ll treasure them beyond the stars, this time. Just one more chance. One more. I’ll save myself; I just need that chance.